Deciphering the truth in a culture of false.

culture

Director Needed for Broadway Play Called: AMERICA

If we had to choose one of the Presidential Candidates, who would the actors choose as their director?

Actors want their show to run smoothly? Yes or No? ALWAYS YES. DUH.

Now, if we could choose any Presidential Candidate, President or Ex-President as an example of the best director of a show called America, we would all choose Ronnie Reagan. Hands down, two-thumbs up, right?

Did you know that Ronald Reagan was an actor raised as a liberal Democrat? Democrat Franklin D. Roosevelt was his inspiration for continuing to get involved in politics throughout his life despite his day job of being an actor. He was also a director though. Not of any shows that I know of, but as the President of his class in college and then as the President of the Screen Actors Guild he showed he had the wherewithal to be a man of many talents. He even took on a business role when he held a Sunday show traveling around informing people about GE products and speaking with executives of other companies in regards to business in America. However, eventually Democrats persecuted him for the conservative views he was inspired by such as anti-communism, fiscal responsibility and anti-big government. So he was forced to change his affiliation to the Republican Party. Remember that last part, because it’s pretty important.

Well, we can’t go back to the 80’s as bad as we want another chance to wear parachute pants, we just can’t. So given our choices today, why are celebrities and actors seeming to side with someone who ironically may not be their actual first choice if they had to decide who would run their show if it were an actual show? Still with me? Why would they be drawn to say they are inspired by someone and so therefore say it is a good idea for all of America to be inspired by them as well? Why would they do that? Let me explain.

While actors tend to be very popular they are not “cliquey.” They are popular and they do what is popular but tend to remain fairly independent. They have a lot of friends, but not too many “best” friends if you know what I mean.

And if there is one thing that is true about all actors, it is that they love to be in the limelight. They can’t help it. It’s in their DNA and what gives them the ability to be actors. Like a moth to a flame, etc. etc. This is what draws them to President Obama. He offers them the limelight, not necessarily popularity, but that doesn’t really matter to them. Consequences, smonchemences. Let me explain, further. If Obama invites you to the White House for dinner, nothing else matters. Fans opinions have nothing over being a part of something exclusive. Actors learn early on that fans opinions are not of their control anyway. They say what is popular, and their fans do it. Not the other way around.

So how do I know so much about the psychology of actors? “No comment” as they say in Hollywood when there is something people actually want them to say. Let’s just say I spent a lot of time in the world of theatre/radio/television and film in my younger days. My main job was on stage but I dabbled in the world of stage crew too. And I have to say I definitely preferred the backstage crew. Being in the back was like being in reality. We were building; running things, making sure the show went perfectly. On stage you just had to learn your lines and take direction well while constantly staying “in character”. Actually, you didn’t even have to get the lines right until absolutely necessary. Procrastination was an assumed natural handicap.

The one thing that I know we all wanted though, was whether you were an actor or on stage crew or light crew or costume crew, prop crew, or on whatever crew, you wanted the show to run well and the only way to do that was having an excellent director. The director knows how to do everything. He/she knows how to act and direct. He/she makes sure the house crew markets the show immensely and that the tickets are sold and not given away. They’re in charge of the budget of the show. They are in charge of what the costumes and the set will eventually be designed like. He/she knows how to build stuff and has to know how to show others how to build stuff. He/she needs to know the difference between stage left and stage right. He/she needs to be able to tell the actors when they are about to fall off the stage.

I know everyone would like to think of their president as someone they would also like to be friends with. Now, I would like to be friends with my director too, but at the same time I know he is going to give me criticism when I need it and can fire my ass at any moment. And I hope to God he would have the balls to fire anyone who sucked, because it would make the show suck. Not even a tiny little bit of crap can be tolerated in Broadway, so why would we tolerate that in the big show we call America?

Ronald Reagan was a great actor and a great director, so to speak, diplomat and humanitarian. He could do it all, could he not? We want him back so bad it hurts! We all want him back. If Ronnie could come back through Theresa Caputo from time to time we would vote for her. But we can’t. So here’s the thing. Republicans worship President Ronald Reagan for a reason. They identify with him. In other words they want to be like him and represent him proudly. More to the point, we want our leaders to be like him. Romney is not Reagan, but he represents and is a part of a whole team that is all about what Reagan believed in; running the show well.

Now, here’s the moment of truth. Who would be the better director if we were putting on a show called America? Would you hire President Obama or Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney to direct your show? I have to say, just going by the man’s experience, I would definitely cast Obama in the show, because he’s a great actor, but I don’t know if he even knows what a fresnel is or what it does.  Therefore, I couldn’t even count on him to approve a good lighting design.  However, since Mitt Romney has directed such things in the past like oh, THE OLYMPICS; one of the biggest shows in the world, I’d have to say he’d get the job. For some reason I just get the feeling President Obama wakes up every day and says “Macbeth” before his first sip of coffee.

Well, Lacee, you say. This is not a Broadway show this is reality. This is a reality show, baby. Real people don’t run on scripts.

And to that I retort: I think it is a play and we do run on scripts that we write out for ourselves every day. We depend on our leaders and caretakers to keep our lives going in the right direction hence the very real need for someone to be helping with all that, a director. A real President of the United States is a job that is one that most certainly is if not more than equivalent to a title of Director. Besides reality shows aren’t really reality either, are they? I mean really. I’m just sayin’.


It’s Adventure Time

There may be something wrong with having a tendency to see life through certain cartoons, but yah, here I go again. Like many Americans out there concerned with how the next election will turn out, I want to know how exactly the opposition to the Democratic Party will go about their plan of battle. I don’t know about you but I have battle plans constantly rolling around in my head, because well, I’m more than concerned. I’m borderline frantic. I’m on edge. I’m wondering if Mitt Romney and the campaign leaders will actually have the bollocks to take the gloves off and put forth the effort to beat the Democratic Party at its own game. So far, I think they are behind on getting this show on the road, but I can be patient… Okay, no I can’t. Might I relay some of my thoughts on the subject?

Is there anyone on the opposition of the Dems that can think like a liberal? I’m not saying is there a person that thinks this way all the time, just part-time, like on an “on-call” basis? This is very important, because there are certain liberal weaknesses we all enjoy and could be used like a bridge, a corpus callosum if you will, to the casm that spans our right brains and left brains. Weaknesses like our love for movies and cartoons.  It’s a welcomed weakness, but a weakness none the less because we tend to let our guard down when we are being entertained.

I heard two different references to the movie industry by conservative analysts in relation to how this campaign should be run. I think they are on the right track. Janine Turner made a comment about how actors in a great movie are super talented and feel bonded like one cohesive team. Dennis Miller referred to how Chris Christie running with Romney would be like Kevin Costner and Sean Connery in The Untouchables. Unstoppable. Bulletproof. That just shows how we are as conservatives seeking and longing for a hero. That’s thinking liberally in a good way. We know realistically that real heroes don’t run for the office of President and Vice President because they’re not stupid enough to walk into that burning building, but we are definitely wishing on a star aren’t we? I think we should prove to the other side that we haven’t lost that sense of wonder. Let’s show them we have a sense of adventure by showing what kind of change America can have when individuals like them imagine what can be built with a little hard work and cooperation. Why not think the whole campaign strategy could be a metaphorical representation of our ideal America and get the attention of a lot more of the folks who tend to think that way. Let me give you an example.

Cartoons are an art form and art was created to speak messages to us without having to actually be interested in the message. Even liberals turn on their right brains for anything that is portrayed as a display of “art”. I think this is why art can be so powerful.

Cartoons have this wonderful way of keeping our attention to the very end because we are being entertained instead of being brow beat by live people who want to get their point across. Even when they are completely demented, the good ones with a moral lesson intertwined, seem to be the most successful cartoons. Why? Because we want to be better people, we just don’t want to be told to be. In my spare time, I like to write children’s books and the best ones are those that teach a lesson without seeming like they are teaching anything. SpongeBob is a perfect example of how good moral behavior can be disguised behind strange behavior and be hugely popular. Now if you’ve never watched SpongeBob, you have no idea what I’m talking about. And if you’ve never watched SpongeBob you definitely have never watched a fairly new cartoon out there called Adventure Time.

Talk about art, Adventure Time’s artistic staff is absolutely stunningly talented. The colors and creativity that goes into each episode is entertainment alone. Then they add original musical pieces that are really quite clever and you have something any one with eyeballs would watch. That is my hope, because Adventure Time isn’t just a great cartoon it implies something very important about what kind of people we should all be, heroes in a world of uncertainty.

The problem with being a hero is that it’s complicated. That’s the main theme. To me that kind of sounds like a story about being American. Hey, this is art. I can interpret it how I want to. We are so powerful as a whole, but as individuals it seems we are losing our grasp of what we really need to do with our lives. Fin and Jake the dog (not his dog) are the heroes of our story who always want to be good and win battles for that which is good. Fin is a thirteen year old young man who metaphorically represents our youthful vision of America and the world. Jake, Fin’s best friend and a super stretchy shape-shifting dog represents the ever-expanding opportunity and freedom available in America that is to be taken advantage of in order to win. Princess Bubblegum, who is this super-genius sweetheart, represents the establishment, what is all-good and worth fighting for. It’s funny because she tends to create bad things by accident (like our government) and needs Fin’s help to get rid of them. One episode she created zombies and had to get Fin to keep it quiet while she worked on a cure or the candy kingdom would destroy itself in panic Essentially he had to make up and partake in what can only be described as a government cover-up while at the same time he righteously fought zombies to keep the unappreciative candy people safe. Tell me you don’t see a common theme here.

If you really observe closely you’ll see several poignant pieces with very American themes. A hero doesn’t mean always killing the foe, but sometimes it does. Sometimes you don’t recognize the foe because they are dressed in poor sad case clothing and pull at your heartstrings. Many times, it says you don’t know who your foe is until the very end no matter what you do. Sometimes there’s a possibility to solve problems with tools and technology and sometimes it takes brute strength to win. Sometimes you have to hold weak people up and sometimes you just have to teach them to turn their weaknesses into strength. Some problems are not your problem and you should stay out of it, but if it’s a situation where evil is present, it’s always your problem. Sometimes there are blood sucking dead girls that sneak into your house, but they’re not necessarily evil. Okay, I don’t know what that last one has to do with America, but my point is, this cartoon has some very conservative themes in it that are a joy to absorb. Just don’t tell any liberals you watch Adventure Time. Just like kids if they find out you like it they won’t watch it anymore.I’m just sayin’.

Once something is labeled as something with a moral backbone, you have to fight harder to make people pay attention. Everyone expects too much of individuals with moral messages all the while not even listening. Like Fin, a hero doesn’t always know what to say. Good people aren’t 100% good, but it doesn’t make us hypocrites either. Good people are sometimes violent and loud, because that’s what it takes. Good people plan because they don’t always know how to fix things on the fly. When people call you slow or lazy or unprepared in the meantime, do not quit. Never give up. Never surrender. Never be ashamed of being a methodical planner. Remember that Republicans! It’s such an adventure to be good.

With the new developments and precedents being set by the powers that be in America recently, I’m positive it is time to start hunkering down and becoming more aware of our hero work. A big part of that is making sure we have an America that can actually produce and house heroes. If we let America crash and worse yet go more towards and entitlement society, where we have to depend on the government for our scraps,individuals will become powerless and it will be too late. We are literally going to have to take advantage of all our tools, technology and tenacity to fight against the evil succubus that is in power today. I don’t know if that includes time to watch cartoons, but in light of what I’ve said about it, maybe you can relax a little knowing liberals and those who do not care about politics are probably sitting and watching something that is good for them too.

President Obama’s campaign spent more than $30 million to run TV ads on the subject of Romney being bad for American business for nearly three months even though the allegation that Mr. Romney “shipped jobs to China and Mexico” was called “misleading, unfair and untrue” by the Washington Post fact checker and labeled “bunk” in an editorial. The Annenberg Center’s FactCheck.org said it found no evidence to support the claim that Romney shipped American jobs overseas, but still the commercials and “legal slander” continue.

I would imagine that over the next few months they are going to try and go all out to widen the gulf between those who know how to make/save money and those who do not. They are going to try to paint a picture of business people and rich business people in particular as those who use sneaky tactics to make money. They will portray hard work as something only noble poor people do. They will make poor people feel even more hopeless about their attempts at hard work and saving by telling them that both the rich and the government are miraculous staples in this country that can never be matched or achieved or changed by the common man. They will tell us the only difference between the two is that rich people want to remain rich so they do anything, use any and all hidden resources to keep it that way and that in contrast the government uses its “magic” to help the people. They will tell us the only way to change things is to give the government more of our support not the “mysterious” rich business people.

So how do we counter this Cro-Magnon campaign? We can’t stay on the level and just keep up with the status quo. So far, Obama and the Dems are the status and we the Republicans, we’re the quo. Let’s say no to the quo. I say we need to go over the top imaginative. While they use their cash trying to lie and do those things I mentioned above, the Republicans, Independents, Tea Partiers and Dems who give a damn need to spend their money on wowing the hell out of us with a vision of a great future. Show it to us. I don’t care if you have to hire Steven Spielberg himself. We need to out liberal mind the liberals. The only thing liberals like more than dwelling in their own sorrow is being distracted from the pain with something spectacularly inspiring.

Show us how private people and rich businessmen with big imaginations turn the world around. Bring as many of these men and women to the table and relay their potential to as many Americans as possible. Show the world that we will not rely on the government to make the leading strides in technology. Show us how innovators like Burt Rutan and Richard Branson are going to go all “X Prize” on our ass. Show us how we will therefore breathe new life back into innovation, breeding business, more engineers and therefore more wealth. All those bridges and wonderful things we have were built by engineers not the government, President Obama. No, I didn’t build it, but some regular hard-working Americans did. The government may have given its permission to build the bridge, but they didn’t build it or even plan it probably. But you know what? That’s all it can do. Obama doesn’t want anyone to think about the fact that all the government can really do is give you permission to do something or not do something. Do you really want them to do this in all aspects of your life? You don’t even let your mom do that. Do you?

Back to the point. I think if we take the over the top, high energy, high special effect, historical fiction, science fiction-type approach we could really get more of the liberal types to open up their minds a little bit to our cause. That shouldn’t be as hard a trick as what Obama and the Dems have to do. They have to try to convince us that the government can do all that inventing and a bag chips too. Well, they have NASA, I guess. Oh, wait, no. They’re in the process of dismantling that. Hmm. I don’t know how they’re going to show us anything positive in motion for the future. The auto industry is doing just fine on its own, without any help from the government and has been for some time now. So I guess the car companies have already burst the government’s bubble on taking credit for that one too.

What it comes down to is this. Fight negative pseudos with positive pseudos. You can’t fight all Obama’s lies with the cold hard truth necessarily. We saw this when Romney had his “Night at the Apollo” as I like to call it. Even though the NAACP was slightly receptive to Romney’s speech in which he refused to pander it wasn’t exactly something that inspired anyone in the audience to vote for him. What I refuse to do in contrast to many of the commentators I saw who spoke about the speech Romney gave at the NAACP, is imply that the audience members were racist and would not vote for Romney because he doesn’t want to speak “their language”. That’s ridiculous. I think they will if he can inspire them. Remember, many African-Americans who were supporters of Obama are feeling in general, pretty darn used by the Obama campaign.

I think instead of using people or a particular group of people, we need to actually give them something they can use as a constituency to better their cause. If you give them something they need, their support will come. Come to think of it there are a lot of groups that have been used by the Obama campaign. They know they’re being used, they just expected something in return. “Dollar make me holler, honey boo boo.” Sorry, I had to. Find out what they need and use our imagination to actually give something to that effect to them. Anything is better than empty promises. Anything.

Republicans don’t need a miracle.  We just need to appeal to liberals’ better, let’s say more idealistic and prosperous nature. Let’s embrace our liberals with tattoos and show them how to be true rebels. Help them surprise the living hell out of employers by showing them how to get skills and education that overshadow how they look. Let’s be realistic. Employers are going to have to get used to working with tattoos just like they had to get used to working with women. We can be extremely distracting, but none the less can be invaluable assets to any team if we can bring the skills. Conservative leaders, surprise the hell out of liberals and other conservatives alike by supporting and appreciating the harmless if not good things about being liberal. In fact I think it would behoove the Mitt Romney campaign to recruit as many tattooed conservatives as they could find and publicize the hell out of them. They do exist! It won’t be an easy task but I think it’s worth it. Tattooed people talk to other tattooed people. That’s just a fact. Now you might say, well why don’t we just get old Mitt up there in the tattoo shop? Why don’t we all get holey faces and ink up our skin? Well, that would just be too contrived wouldn’t it and we don’t want to do that. I’m not getting a tattoo. I think I get more attention without them. Then again, I won’t be as effective at a biker rally as Spike with his Sarah Palin tattoo, will I? Isn’t politics exciting? Isn’t the whole thing a big dirty contrived mess? Absolutely, so we might as well make it worth our while and win the damn thing. Like I said, it’s adventure time!


The Costume Parade

Weaving through the insanely crowded lobby of the school theatre I felt like I was taking my initiation into “stage motherhood” quite well. My two five year olds were scheduled to do two, yes, two “performances” in the Best of Broadway 2012 Showcase and I was thanking God they had managed to stay in relatively good physical shape before this day. Only minor visible cuts and bruises from biking and scooting too vigerously. Costume fittings, preordering lunch, preorder flowers, preorder tickets, find fishnet hose for 5 year olds,(which was actually surprisingly and maybe a little frighteningly easier than I thought it would be), dress rehearsal, photos, video, invite the family and friends, etc. There were so many things we as parents, a.k.a. mom, had to do to get to this day and here we were. Registering for college courses at The University of Texas was easier than this and probably cheaper too.

My husband sits and waits in the cafeteria comparing how much information he really knows about what is happening that day with the other dads. He is starting to get the picture that he is clueless. It’s not really fair to let him find out that way, but hey. It’s his own damn fault for never listening in matters such as this. I had to do all the leg work. Why should he get to walk around with all the confidence of a peacock while I try to figure out how to get my kid’s crazy hair to stay in a tight low bun for more than five minutes? Does HE he have to worry about the twenty sixteen year old ballet students needing to make a costume change giving him the evil eye because his kid decided she had to take a major five minute dumpy in the one bathroom five minutes before show time? NO, I don’t think so. Did he have to peel his daughters off of him as he placed them in the small prison room filled with screaming tiera wearing toddlers and preschoolers wearing itchy costumes?  And I have to say, “Have fun for the next three hours, okay?” As the moms too afraid to leave their kids, I mean “volunteer” moms stay and play with their iPhones and iPads I have to convince myself my kids are perfectly safe and supervised. For the sake of dance class? How is this worth it I’m thinking to myself, but on the outside I’m a proud mom ready to see my kids “have fun.” Does my husband still have the gall to ask me if I knew what I was doing? Yes, he did. Is he still alive you ask? Yes, but just barely.

Finally, they let the parents and obligated loved ones into the theatre. I think I’m so cool because we find the perfect spot, center stage. An hour and a half into the show, I’m not feeling so cool. I haven’t seen my kids perform yet, so I’m getting anxious. Oh, here they come! There they are! Oh, they’re so cute! They don’t have a clue of what they’re doing. One of my daughters is trying her hardest to keep up with the other girls but seems to be going the opposite direction no matter which way the other girls go. My other daughter, nicknamed the “dancing queen” at our house, mouth wide open, eyes wide open, literally looking like a terrified squirrel running around in circles trying to avoid an oncoming truck. Maybe 30 seconds later, it’s all over. THAT was awesome, I’m thinking. Actually, I was really excited they didn’t just stand there like many of the performances I had already been so fortunate to be a captured audience for. Obviously they had paid attention for a couple of minutes of the four hundred dollars’ worth of classes we paid for.

We couldn’t wait to tell them how proud we were. We had flowers and pride just a bursting.  But wait what’s this? We have a couple more performances to watch? Okay. These kids are pretty cute. I think I can sit here and watch a bit more, but soon I’ve got to get out and get the girls’ lunch for them. They’ve already been without real food for going on six hours now.  They should be really ravenous back there and starting to eye up the “volunteers” by now.

So, I sit through ten more back to back juvenile performances and I’m about to go crazy. I look and on either side of me is completely packed with old people and I don’t know who designed this theatre, but they should be shot. There was as little room to walk between the seats as humanly possible, and there were no isles to break up the number of people you had to crawl over to get to out. With no more than 5 seconds between performances I was never going to get out before the lights came back up. I never thought in a million years I would be one of those rude people who walk out of a performance no matter how bad it was, but I did. I had to. My kids were starving to death, drowning in a prison of hairspray and tutus. When did being over privileged become so strenuous? I think I had had gotten about all the sentimental value I was going to get out of this pony show. To think they still had yet to do another thirty second part in the costume parade.

I made my way over the legion of butt sore grandparents and back stage to my girls. I was overwhelmed with relief. One of my daughters spotted me right off the bat and latched on to me like a little sea urchin. I quickly “checked them out” of the tiny dancers’ green room and headed off to the cafeteria where I was first in line to get them their lunch. We peacefully and a little bit guiltily ate our lunch while everyone else (including my husband and parents) were still pretending to enjoy the show or stuck backstage in their itchy tights. I couldn’t have been more proud of my beautiful girls and me. I did awesome. Everything from there on out was gravy. I knew my kids wouldn’t have to wait long to do their scary squirrel impressions and we’d be out of there.

We were going to leave this experience proud mostly because we didn’t quit even when our kids begged us to let them quit. Were we so proud we can’t wait to sign our kids up for dance next year? Let’s just say we had our professionally filmed DVD and pictures, memory complete.

Why do we do this again? Why do we feel we have to spend a small fortune to give them a little culture, a little fine art appreciation at this age? I’m pretty sure the secret is out. There are lots of parents who are not creative, but who want their kids to be creative and will pay a crap load to try and achieve that goal. The hard truth is, I don’t think we get our money’s worth out of it, but we feel like we’re not giving them all the resources to be as talented or at least as well rounded as we wished they could possibly be. Parents that have been through this tell me if they had known what they know now, they would have just put their kids in a costume parade in the garage and took pictures and video and call it a day. They’re totally right! Forget that the improvisational performance would probably have been more entertaining than what we had just suffered through, but for half of the price we spent total, I could’ve bought the girls some tutus, some boas, some hair paint, slapped some mascara and red lipstick on them and been done with it. Hell, if we held the parade down on 6th street people might just pay ME.

Oh, to be a parent in the suburbs with everything at your fingertips. Businesses tailor made to make you spend every last dime on over-stimulating your young child. “Please pay us to subject your child to the cutest form of torture you’ve ever laid eyes on!” “Hurry up and register your child today!” “There are only limited spots available!” “Don’t let your child feel left out!” I tell you. It’s not that the quality of the education, costumes or the organization was lacking. For the older kids who choose to do this, it’s fabulously realistic when it comes to learning how the theatre really works. However, if you have any inkling of an expectation of seeing your under-five year old “wow” your friends and family because you have your kids involved in some high dollar activities, you’re probably going to be sorely disappointed. No disrespect to their wonderful teacher, who God knows had her work cut out for her with my girls, but I’m not so sure the garage costume parade wouldn’t have given them just as much education in the ways of the theatre as the months of lessons we drove to and fro to in sickness and tears or not. Why couldn’t we have put more effort into making our own show? The quality of the family time would at least have been higher rated. We didn’t even get the pleasure of watching them practice as “distracting parents” were not allowed at rehearsals. Sure it’s “free time” for us, but where’s the involvement except for me donating my wallet, my taxi services and my sanity?

So as we’re walking out of the theatre my husband and I thank the girls for their effort as they noticeably tried very hard to do something that resembled a routine. They smiled proud of their hard work and we reassure them there will be no such torture in the near future. I say to the girls, “Would you maybe like to try singing lessons or piano next time? There won’t be any of this all-day, stuff. We know that was hard on you.” My tiny dancer turns and says to me with her serious face as she had clearly been thinking about it since she walked off that stage, “No. Next time I think I’m going to do Karate.” Oh Lord, have mercy.


Lying Beyond the Trend and Changing Our Cultural Conscience

Do you even know what a lie is anymore? Of, course you do. Really?

Did you know the most important part of a lie isn’t the lie itself? Is it the motive? I mean what’s the first thing your mama asked you when she caught you in a lie? “Why did you lie to me?” Maybe it’s the effect of the lie.

We lie to ourselves and others lie to us because we reinforce on a daily, maybe even hourly basis, that lying is an acceptable way of communicating. This is Pseudos.

Why is Pseudos in particular so dangerous? What happens because of Pseudos?

#1: When we lie to ourselves it sets us up as victims.

#2: When others lie to us we are taken advantage of like victims.

This becomes the perfect psychological weapon.

Introducing…the cultural conscience…

We all have our own sense of needing to achieve. Some of us have higher levels of achievement than others do, but what keeps the achievers reaching for higher goals? Why don’t they become satisfied after one achievement? Maybe it is because, with achievement there comes rewards. We actively, like all animals, try to make the correct decisions and react in the way that will bring us rewards.

Comparing animals such as dogs or horses to humans in personality is one way we can judge if there are any ulterior motives unique to humans. Bear with me. This makes perfect sense, not only because many of us today, consider our pets to be people too, but because going by the five-criteria of personhood, given by the philosopher Mary Anne Warren, in many ways animals actually are people too. To be a person one must meet at least two of the following criteria: “consciousness, self-awareness, has self-actuated motivation, the ability to reason (solve complex problems) and have the ability to communicate.”

Most animals are self-aware, some can solve complex problems, they can communicate, and they are conscious and have self- actuated motivation. Additionally, we have the same basic motivations. Such as, a need for love and belonging, a need for sex, a need for food, water and shelter, a need for safety and security, and finally a need to make the correct decisions. In a rat, that might mean choosing to walk along the phone line instead of crossing the busy street to get home safe. He is rewarded every time he makes it home and punished at every close call on the road. He learns to survive by rewards and punishments. Yet some animals experience much more out of this operant conditioning. A dog not only learns to survive in his master’s home, but also learns to play and receive love and affection. The dog has not merely survived, but actually achieved something some humans never do.

My point is this: if behavior is primarily geared toward making the correct decisions and moving toward achievement in all kinds of people, why do humans lie? What causes our behavior to differ from all other animals in that we tend to partake in a sort of anti-achievement behavior, by lying? Every human does it. What person would admit he or she farted in the elevator? You are the only one who acts like you didn’t do it, so of course, everyone knows it’s you. From then on, everyone calls you stinky and you are humiliated- the most common form of self-defeatism. To humiliate is “to reduce one’s dignity or pride to a lower position” (Webster’s Dictionary). Humans are the only species who do this to themselves. Carl Rogers would say no one can make you feel put down or make you feel like you don’t belong but you. You would never see a dog refuse a bowl of ice cream because he was afraid of gaining weight.

So, what is it, then? Why do we make these semi-automatic decisions that are in the opposite of our basic interests? Besides our language capability, what makes us different from other animals, so much so that we have to tell lies? We have social pressures like nobody on Earth! That’s what makes us different! We have to be smart, we have to be brave, we have to be funny, we have to be rich, we have to be beautiful and we have to face humiliation every day. But why do we have to feel humiliated therefore causing some humans to tell little white lies almost automatically, and almost daily. You wouldn’t see a dog lying to another dog about whether he had food on his nose or not. The other dog would just lick it off, with neither of the dogs feeling humiliated.

In most cases of the individual, whether or not the told and believed lies do damage to others is not as important, because ultimately, it is a self-defeating behavior that brings more harm to the self than anyone else involved. This is mostly due to what I call the spider web theory. It is when strings of inaccurate responses, become a burden on the mind as it is constantly working on untangling it. (Your brain naturally works to keep the lies straight without you getting caught, so to speak.) Most don’t admit they lie on a regular basis to themselves or anyone else. This is in itself a form of Pseudos. They think, if anything, the lying is a symptom or way to deal with all of their other problems. They don’t see lying as the root of them, so it continues.

And consciously or not, this constant burden on the mind causes people not to sleep well, causing stress and illness, they tend to be more forgetful and they misplace things more often. They, more importantly tend to lose the trust of friends more often. They don’t realize that the lying is the root of much of the unhappiness and stress in their lives. As Bandura reports, there is something called “TRIADIC RECIPROCAL DETERMINISM”, meaning the world and a person’s behavior cause each other. “People do not simply react to environmental events; they actively create their own environments and act to change them.” I hate to sound like an old fogy, but it really seems that with progress we have literally lost touch with what’s important in life. We’re all busy spinning and untangling our webs. Sooner or later those little individual webs are going to get tangled with each other and we’ll all be stuck in one huge web of frustration and confusion.

That huge tangled web of frustration and confusion is our cultural conscience out of control.

So, are we really “losing touch” as society becomes more modernized? Can we help it? Do we have the skills to choose to be honest, caring people? Well, that takes self-discipline which ironically is taught to us by someone else. (Typically, it’s our parents.) Now you’re saying, discipline? My parents? Ha! Let me just say, I’m with you. With the absence of discipline in general in our society we can clearly see the environment we are creating just by watching reality television. These people are freaks of nature… but then there are a lot of them.

Could it be as Karen Horney suggests? We envy justifiable qualities we find in our culture and we can’t help but feel anxious about achieving them. Perfect relationships, power, recognition and prestige. Or can we overcome, like Carl Rogers says? That no one can make us feel inferior except for ourselves?

It could also be that we all have Horney’s “neurotic needs” to some extent. All ten of them in fact. (And that’s Karen Horney’s neurotic needs not horny neurotic needs, for all you perverts out there.) I’d list them and their explanations here, but that’s a whole ‘nother book. The most important of which, to all of us, is that we never lose our status. Many will lie no matter what the cost in order to preserve this status. And this is where Homey and I agree.

Most of us are terrified of being humiliated. Some of us, to the point where it doesn’t even register that telling the truth would cause far less anxiety, than what we will later experience from the constant avoidance of such humiliation. Like I said before, our technology allows us to avoid this much easier almost completely, but as Bandura relays, the avoidance of such pain can lead to illness caused by stress or worse, could lead to psychopathology. In fact, George Kelly believes we don’t naturally respond to the environment truthfully in order to avoid pain, but to maximize our understanding of our accurate, true view of the world.

So, why do we complicate the world with silly little white lies? I theorize, that if we are feeling weak against the many pressures of the world, our judgment, in our process of Self-Regulation, becomes overridden by the “Cultural Conscience” and we respond in a behavior that pushes us almost automatically, in the way of making a response based on cultural and social influences. It’s like a defense mechanism, a filter in the preconscious mind, that other animals have no concept of, but that we use like instinct in order to avoid more social pressure.

I have a good friend who tried to make his point with this quote that something about how cuttlefish change their appearance to camouflage themselves from predators and are they lying because they do this? Let me just say that the people I’m talking about are so confused that if they were lying to do something so humble as protect themselves from predators their equivalent answer to disguising themselves would be pink camouflage and designer sunglasses. They want to be hidden but not “too hidden” if you know what I mean.


Pistol Packing Mamas Unite

I keep looking down at a scratch I have on my palm because it reminds me of my friend’s deep funky scar she has in the same place.  Well her’s is almost a scar, a barely closed wound really; still healing from trying to block the knife that stabbed her.

Let me just say that if you have any best friends that you have not gotten in touch with in a while, I highly recommend just calling and saying hello because the chances that they may need you are great.

What I thought was going to be a lovely Sunday evening reuniting with one of my old friends turned out to be a very rude awakening for me.  This friend is one that I consider one of the best and one I know I’ll always be friends with no matter how few and far between our visits are.  You meet few people in your life that hold this ranking, but you know them when you meet them.  They’re like your friend soul mate.  It was lovely, don’t get me wrong.  It felt very good to make the face to face connection again, but what she told me I had missed over the year completely rocked my world.

As things often go, my friend and I don’t get much contact anymore in that we’ve moved on to different cities and started families, etc. etc. So it’s not unusual when one of us goes MIA for a while.  We just get busy and after a while get together on Facebook or email and catch up.  Add the fact that most of my family and old friends live in Houston which is a place I rarely visit anymore and well, you tend to miss some things.

If you must know why I don’t like Houston, being that I was born and raised there, I don’t like it because well, Houston is getting to be a dangerous shit hole. Not to put too fine a point on it.  I don’t mean the whole place is a cesspool of crime by anymeans, because that’s just not acurate.  There are some fantasic parts of Houston that everyone wants to be in.  Austin has it’s share of daily tragedy too.  Every big city has them, but let’s just say Houston is very big and has a lot of room for crazies.  I used to feel so safe when growing up there.  Now?  Not so much. Hey, check the history books.  Even Sam thought it was a shit hole.

Okay, obviously I didn’t always feel this way about my home town and obviously I’m completely spoiled living where I live now, in typically safe west Austin.  While I’m in danger of being accused of being a snob for feeling this way, I really can’t help but make the connection between Houston’s crime rate and the ever increasing tragedy that is recently plagued my friends and family as of late.  I could go on and on about the horrible things that have happened of late in and around Houston, mostly because of drugs, but not necessarily.  Things that you would maybe expect in New York or LA, not the subs of H-town.  I actually saw my grandparents’ house featured on the reality show The First 48, which is a reality show about gathering as much information about a murder in the first 48 hours of an investigation. The 20-something year old that lived across the street had her head nearly completey severed by an angry ex-boyfriend.  Seriously, people, just as a conscientious observer looking in from the outside, I can tell it is not the town I used to know.

To put it in perspective for you, I got my first real job in the Woodlands and spent many a late college night on the backstage security staff of the Cynthia Woods Mitchel Pavilion. Me, 115 lbs. me…on security detail.  That’s about how much people were afraid of getting jacked in the Woodlands.  At that time, my worst and only fear of living in Houston was that I had to drive on I-45 every day.

But a decade (or so) later, just the other day a woman was shot to death in the Woodlands just taking her baby to the pediatrician. Probably where my mom used to take me.  Some crazy person decided (with the help of another crazy person no less) that they wanted a baby and that all they would have to do is take it.  So they stalked the woman, and when the timing was right the person grabbed the nine day old right out of his mother’s arms.  Of course the mother fought like hell so the crazy lady shot her dead and drove off with the baby.  Hours later the criminals were caught and the baby was rescued thank God.  They really had no plan other than taking it and going home.  How on earth did they think they would get away with that?  What are the chances of having two crazy people taking so much uncalculated risk?  Is the desperation per person in Houston higher?   Maybe, but my best guess is that the environment of crime and the prevalence of it being so high in such a large population, aids psychos in thinking: Hey, what the hell.

When I go everything kind of looks familiar, but there’s just something that’s not quite right.  Kind of like nephews and nieces you haven’t seen in a while.  The last picture you had of them they were so cute wearing their little soccer uniforms and the next thing you know they’re all hairy and joining the military.  The change is unnerving to say the least.  But to those who have grown up there and plan on staying there, I swear it’s like they hardly even notice anything but the traffic.

I guess it’s one thing to have a home where you feel safe and quite another to be a visitor having to stay in a hotel somewhere off I-45 where the pimps keep their BMW’s running out front, no matter how long they plan on staying.  The fact that I’m also a writer which makes me a little paranoid and reclusive by nature doesn’t help my uneasiness.

I know my friends and family don’t feel the same way because they’re used to it.  Of course it seems like a harsher more superficial perspective I have as a “visitor,” but as someone who did live there most of my life, to me, it seems like the old friendly Texan environment is gone and I just don’t think it’s worth it to ever go back. Usually, like Stevie Nicks I keep my visions to myself because I know I’d hurt their feelings by dogging our hometown.  When I bring up moving away from Houston they just sigh and tell me they’re husbands will never move, they share custody with an ex-spouse who will never move, they’ve got a good job in this economy, what have you.  Then I sigh and think: well, if they’re used to it then that’s good, because most of them are never going to have a choice.  They have put down roots.  I respect that so I back off.  There is usually no more to say, but the events that have recently come to light regarding my loved ones and my home town have made me rethink everything.

I don’t know why it’s worse there than in other towns, but the crime is bound to touch you in one way or another if you live there.  It’s touching me lately, and I don’t even live there.  The thing is, it’s not the town.  It’s the people and the times we live in.  As much as I want to blame Houston, that really doesn’t help.

First of all, Houston being Houston is not the reason violence happens to good people.  There is tragedy and crazy people everywhere, but that’s exactly why I am specifically saying this to women no matter where you are no matter what your situation.

Imagine you and your best friend and why you are best friends.  It’s probably because you tend to have very similar goals in your lives, similar personalities, maybe even the same strengths and weaknesses, that including men.  I know my best friends tend to be pleasers like me.  We have trouble saying no to people we love and have even more trouble dealing with the guilt on the rare occasion that we do.  Now imagine you two going through similar situations; getting married and each having a child.  You both have beautiful little girls that look just like you.  Now imagine one of you having marital problems.  That’s not too hard to imagine; everybody has those.  Now it gets a little tricky.  What if those marital problems were caused by him having a mental health problem like bi-polar disorder?  That’s common enough, could still be you.  What if those health problems were exacerbated by drug abuse?  Why not? We’re close enough to that around here with our beer and coffee habits.   I can see that happening to me.  So far, maybe you are exactly in the same boat.  But one day, something sets you apart without you ever knowing it’s even happened.

At a certain point the anguish becomes too much and plans have to be made to get out of the marriage without setting off any mental explosions.  This would have to be done quietly and without the knowledge or help of any friends.  As fate would have it, the husband who has mental health and then drug problems goes to jail for a while, making an easier exit for the wife possible.  A divorce is finalized and a bit of relief begins to set in.  There’s a hitch though.  The “changed man” who never has been physically violent wants to see his daughter; supervised of course.  This still kind of sounds like a pretty typical divorce these days, does it not?  After a while of witnessing truly rehabilitated behavior the wife is ready to let her guard down just a little, for the sake of being civil and for the sake of the child’s relationship with her father.  For the sake of gas mileage, I can honestly say, I’d had let the father of my child know my address.  Especially if I truly thought he was not a violent person and no longer on drugs.

So which one of you would you choose the next set events happen to?  The father comes to help the mother paint their four year old daughter’s room.  Together they paint it a beautiful shade of violet.  Then they clean up putting the little girl to bed, exhausted from an exciting day with mommy and daddy again for the first time in a long time.  Happily ever after is just a beer clink away.  She kneels down to pick up something off the floor when she feels the cold of a knife to her throat.  Only when she hears the vicious words hissing out of his mouth that he’s there to kill her does she recognize that it actually is a knife.  She fights for her life waking everyone in the house and nearby neighbors with her blood curdling screams.  Her four year old little girl comes running in and watches in horror as her father stabs her mother five times aiming for all her major organs.    As a student of anatomy there is no question he knows what he is trying to hit.  Somehow although now starting to black out, she is able to fight her way to the handgun he had no idea she had and she shoots him… and kills him.

My friend says all she could think about was not passing out and getting to that gun because she knew he would kill her daughter too if she failed.

If you haven’t guessed by now, I can no longer identify at this point and my guess is neither can you.  The words are going in, but no comprende’, you know what I’m saying?  The absolute truth of it all is that there is no reason that it couldn’t have been me or you.   Hell, she and I met because of our involvement with a crazy guy we once dated and between the two of us, we didn’t really date all that much.  It could have been me in that situation and I hate to say it, but I don’t think I would be able to get to my gun.  Then I realized I would have been a victim of my own Pseudos.  I heard them when I bought the gun that I really would have to own the fact that I would have to kill someone if ever I had to use it.  I believed them that it was absolutely the way it was going to be, but I never understood or felt the gravity of that until now.

Social psychologists say that upon hearing about a tragedy in general we try like crazy to see/find out who it happened to so that we can identify with the victim in some way.  (This is their explanation for rubber necking.) Then shortly after that, the second thing we want to find out is what exactly happened and every little detail about how because we want to rule out any chances that the scenario could ever happen to us.  In essence, we then desperately try to UN-identify with the situation.  Basically it’s nature’s way of calming us down when we are not in any immediate danger. But I tell you, I’m having a hell of a time “un-identifying” with this one.  I don’t see how any of us can.  I don’t see how any woman can hear this story and not want to get a gun and learn to use it.  If you can, let me just add one more thing. While my friend was lying there bleeding to death on the floor having just shot her husband, and desperate just to let someone, anyone, know that she had life insurance in case she didn’t make it, 911 put her on hold.  That alone is evidence enough to know you can’t count on anyone to come save you.  I don’t know which is more disturbing.  That Houston’s 911 can put you on hold in a situation like that or that they are so busy with crisis in that city that they have to put you on hold in the first place.

If you happen to be like my friends and family and have deep roots in a shitty town, I wish for you to be aware that just because you’re “used to it” doesn’t mean you are prepared for it.  While many get used to being unprepared and will never be comfortable defending themselves because of how they were raised, I mean no disrespect.  You are not a weak person by choosing not to own a gun.  I’m mainly talking to the ladies out there who go the lengths of getting a gun, but never touch it as the thought of ever having to use it seems too intimidating to fathom.   I’m guilty of this and I admit it.

We convince ourselves we’ll never have to use it.  We have it “just in case” but we never want to think about “the case” in which we would have to kill someone.  We walk around as mothers thinking we can do anything if we put our minds to it, but because most of us refuse to think like men, we become victims of them more often than we have to.

Now I’m going to get in all kinds of trouble for saying that, but my point is that men are wired in ways that we don’t want to comprehend.  They think of scenarios women may think are extremely violent or vulgar, but in their minds are just simply scenarios…possibilities.  None the less, we can’t think like them and seriously, we shouldn’t want to.  Maybe that is why we tend to put an emotional price tag on everything we think of because that’s how we get hurt the most.  Physical pain isn’t something we are all that afraid of or foreign to, but something we don’t seek out either.   Subjects like guns and how we’re going to blow someone away just aren’t something we typically fantasize about.  But this I’m sorry to say, puts us at a disadvantage in an ever increasingly violent environment.  What can we do but take certain precautions?

The fact is it’s not usually the strangers from the bad environment you have to be worried about.  It’s the people you surrounded yourself with voluntarily and care about who inadvertently are influenced by the bad environment and end up hurting you.  After what I heard last night about my girlfriend’s survival story, I can assure you, now is the time to get paranoid.

Ann Coulter said recently that everyone should get a gun.  I’m going to second that motion, but I also want to add that if you happen to be a woman, you should especially get a gun and learn how to use it well.  Ninja training is a little difficult, but if you want to do that, I think that might be the only viable alternative.  If a man is out to murder his wife, the cards are stacked heavily in his favor.  If you take away the fear of getting caught and going to jail, as in a murder suicide situation- the likelihood of a man being able to carry out his wishes is fairly easy.  Add an environment where there are about 290 murders/homicides a year happened and you’ve got a reason to get a gun and know how to use it well. Out of those I found there were at least 20 murder suicides and attempts in the area.  You know how many there were in NY City NY? Try six.  Crime on the decline? Ha!  I think maybe 10 less people were murdered last year than the year before.  Congratulations.  You did better than Afghanistan.

I’m about to get in trouble again but I’m pretty sure this is true. We women are forever suckers when it comes to the father of our children and they know this, deep.  There is just something inside them that knows that if they are really patient and concentrate on how, they can make us believe anything.    We want the happily ever after no matter what we have to go through to get it.  The phrase “I’m a changed man” should be a red light to every woman, because we all know “deep” that it’s impossible, but we ignore it anyway.  We love so deep and become so dependent on our spouse when we have a family even if that dependence is a hindrance to our health.  My point is we never know who will hurt us the most or how far someone will go to hurt us until many times it’s beyond our control.  And when this person happens to be a man, and maybe even a man who knows your particular weaknesses, what are you prepared to do to save yourself and possibly your children as well?  How many scenarios have you gone over in your head about just what you would have to do if you needed to escape a male attacker?  Have you ever thought of what you would do if the attacker was your husband?  I know I for one, I don’t want to think about that.  Honestly, with a gun I don’t have to give it much thought.

If I am trained well enough with my gun, I know where it is and I know I can get to it in an emergency, I don’t think about who I’ll have to shoot or why.  I just know I can and that I will if someone comes after my babies.  I am no longer an ultra-vulnerable, uber-trusting wife.  I am now a force to be reckoned with and I have no qualms about reminding my husband of that every chance I get.  Not that I think he’d ever do anything to harm me, but it serves like a reminder of the fact that I can take care of myself if he’s not around; either physically or mentally… if you know what I mean.   Look, it’s not any different than leaving out the tampon box in the bathroom around your period.  It’s just a subtle reminder to the man that he needs to leave you the hell alone.

I can only say this.  My friend and her daughter are alive today because she had a handgun and she used it…well.  After all the time she spent planning and lengths she went to in order to just stay away from the danger, the one moment she let her guard down  was the one moment evil took advantage of.   She was able to save herself with nothing but shear will power and that gun.  At some point she felt her husband or an intruder would be more of a danger to have around than a gun and for that correct decision she is still alive today to watch sailboats, talk about the Cure and drink red wine with me.  My friend isn’t any different from us, well, other than the fact that she is an absolute hero.


Introduction to Pseudos 101

In the old days you could look at a person’s face and tell they were lying to you. That’s where we get the old phrase “look me in the eye and tell me you’re not lying.” Because we used to feel bad about telling a lie to someone’s face. Now days our culture has learned that little secret and we simply use it to lie better. For example, the other day my daughter was four, almost five. She is telling a story. She’s very talented with her words and she makes up fun little imaginative stories (like her mama).  But whenever she gets to a subject that’s maybe inappropriate, for example she says something to the effect of, I had a little friend named Jane and she died.  I usually tell her that it’s not nice to talk about someone who died.  I said, “That’s not really a fun story.  How about we tell about a happy story?”   And she says, “No mommy it’s not a story.  It’s the truth.”  In the back of my mind I’m thinking, Dear Lord my child is about to say she sees dead people.  So I take a deep breath and I tell her I know for a fact that she doesn’t know anyone at her school that died the other day and because of that fact I know she’s not telling the truth. But the scariest part was that at this time she gets very adamant that there was a person by this name and that it was her friend who died and it was at school, huff, huff, huff.   She was so convincing about her fictional story I became worried that she was developing a skill that makes lying not any different in her book then telling a story she just wished was the truth or even something as innocent as letting her very vivid imagination take over.

When I confronted her more sternly about the lie she became even more adamant and probably worried I guess more about the consequences of what she had said rather than the fact that she was telling me something that wasn’t true with a lot more conviction than I was comfortable with.  She could’ve been telling me that there was a purple rhinoceros at her school making cookies and it wouldn’t have made a difference.  The way that she looked at me and then started crying in her boldface lie made me pause. What can you do? Honestly. Your angel, poo-bear, little baby, wonderful girl is telling a story like Stephen King which is both inspiring and admiral but at the same time the conviction behind it is questionable. Either it’s entertaining to her or something far more manipulative. Either way I want to make sure she knows what manipulative language like lies do.

That got me thinking about what a friend had told me when I first started writing Pseudos 101. He told me “Well, if were talking about false and lies, you may have to define truth.” I thought, oh crap. I wasn’t a philosophy major.  Why the hell would anyone want to study that?  Anything attempting to tell people what is the absolute truth is completely subjective and I believe personal to each individual. How am I to ever convince people of what they believe is the truth?  Who does that? My beliefs will never be more than just a story to them.  Even the definition of evangelical in the Bible means simply share your story.  It does not mean try to convince people your truth is the only truth there is.  See, Jesus knew that cake wouldn’t bake.

People are always going to know what they know in their heart to believe based on their own perceptions. We are a conglomeration of prejudices. We hear what we want to hear. We want what we want.  We need what we need and we believe what we want to believe. Wars have been waged since man was able to throw his own poop over what each of them believe is the truth.   I think my frustration of defining truth for the world is therefore warranted.

What it comes down to is that many think a simple twist of words is hardly something to make a fuss over.  We all just occasionally want to have something sound a little better than it really is or look a little better than it really is so we can get a little ahead.  We’re just trying to keep up with everyone else.  However there is cause to be really worried about lying becoming so common in our marketing, in our government and our judicial system.  Not to put too fine a point on it, the way lawyers win cases and the way clients who are on trial conduct themselves morally speaking is becoming deplorable in many instances. That’s just one example.  Our culture is in danger of changing the basic instincts we have about what is really dangerous to us.

So maybe we shouldn’t worry about what each other think is the truth. Maybe that plan is moot.   And then it hit me.  The definition of truth is whatever isn’t false. What we should be worried about is how we from this point on, decipher what is false.  Like I said our culture is getting wise to how they manipulate people. We are getting so wise to how we manipulate each other that it almost seems like an instinctive type of survival. And so really what this book is about is helping you identify what is probably false information.  If people are getting better at lying then people need to also get better at deciphering lying. Learn to recognize it and learn to stay out of its reach.

Artificiality is specifically a problem because we are becoming more and more saturated in our society by things that are false.  Let’s say, anything that is artificial applies to whatever we think of as false in a physical nature or a philosophical manner.  At the same time what we consider true in nature because we can feel it, affects what we philosophically feel is true.  And we, instead of getting in touch with nature, we are tending to be more often surrounded by environments that are less natural and less concrete to our understanding of what is really real.  I guess a good metaphor for this would be how when our 36th President L.B.J. was so entrenched in what you can only imagine is Washington DC’s level of manipulative pressure and how he used to have to escape, literally escape, to the rural countryside in Texas.  This is where he claims several times that he felt more in the “real world” than anywhere else.  I think he was more in touch with who he really was and his true purpose when was immersed in that wholesome Texas environment.  He felt he could come back to the real world when he was in the country and not in D.C. because of this very argument that we can be oversaturated with artificiality.  Hence, this is why we need to learn how to protect ourselves from that environment and thus the creation of Pseudos 101.


Texas OUR Texas…and Arizona

For the sake of all Americans crossed by this border security issue, I’m going to lend you Texas’ theme song for the moment.  Especially you Arizona as I believe you need it at this moment in history more than ever.  Along with Texans singing “Texas Our Texas” they should proclaim with great pride Arizona…OUR Arizona.

“We didn’t cross the border.  The border crossed us.”  Humph.

I’m sorry.  I just threw up in my mind a little bit.  As a native Texan, this more than chaps my hide, it makes me want to hogtie anyone who says it.  Okay, I don’t really know how to do that, but if I did, boy…

Anyway.  Of course it did, idiots…because you lost the war.  Only when Texas was about to become permanent property of the United States of America did Mexico say they would concede to the loss and recognize The Republic of Texas in all its glory.  Only when they knew the United States could make the border whatever they damn well pleased if a deal was reached did they ever concede to the truth about Texas’ victory and where the line was originally drawn.  Now Mexican and liberal Americans alike are learning a history steeped in sore loserdom which all began about a decade prior to the second Texas Revolution.  It began with a few’s desire for money and power not a clash of cultures and racism, as you‘d assume, thanks to the liberal left media.

To be kind of specific, when roughly three powerful Americans, sent out on United States business began exploring Texas, they each fell in love with her.  They independently discovered that Texas was vast and full of uncovered riches.  They also came to realize that the native Mexicans, Texians and Texas colonists of the time virtually ran themselves.  At this point, Spanish Mexico was like an estranged step-mother of sorts, mostly concerned with which plastic surgery to undergo next.  (You know, always critical of what you do, but not really involved in the whole raising you thing.)   The people who actually “governed” Texas were the same as they had always been; a group of quiet Spanish royals who originally planned out the civil matters of Texas; civil law, roads and city planning, how acreage was levied, etc.   They lived a peaceful life working with the natives (not enslaving them by the way) building up San Antonio and living a very rich life to say the least.

The Army General, a sleezeball named Edwards (purely coincidence I’m sure) and a minister from the United States Government saw that if these royals were so laid back, not willing to harm even a savage native, they were weak and insignificant.  They could easily be gotten rid of.  They also noticed something in particular about the youth of these royals.  They seemed to be bored with all the wealth and no “real power.”  Sound familiar?

Maybe their interest in large territories of Texas was purely to drum up votes for John Q. Adams’ presidency but let’s be real.  These American’s lived and died by the term manifest destiny.  It is no secret that these men had visions of being all-powerful leaders in a place that oozed power and also seemed to be just sitting there waiting for the taking.

American conquests were old news.  They began their campaign of pseudos in Texas by talking up an “Independent Texas.”  They told the young rebel royals and Texians that independence in Texas was all but theirs for the taking.  They just had to declare it and take it.  When these men were caught literally by surprise by Spanish-Mexican officials and questioned about their “speculating” they pointed their fingers at the rebel royals and said that they had started the whole thing.  The men all claimed they had nothing to do with inciting a war they would most heavily gain from.  Unfortunate for them, Spain didn’t buy it or didn’t care; one of the two, your pick.  Let’s just say they died in a bad way and it involved a donkey.

Those royal rebels specifically, who risked their lives did so not because some Americans got them all riled up and racist.  These people wanted to fight because they knew they were being taken for granted by a changing Spainish/Mexican government. Mexico was trying to win independence from Spain and reorganize the individual powers of the Church, military and judiciary system under a more “centralized” government.  Sound familiar? The Spanish royals had built Texas so far, did a damn good job of it and were so powerful in their own right it only seemed natural.  This is the first time that the Texas independence voice was allowed to be heard.  10 years later that same voice would cry “Remember the Alamo”.  The royal elders had warned them that the passionate voice inside them that wanted independence for Texas had a time and a place, but they were impatient and did not listen.  The first civilians of Texas were therefore systematically hunted down and assassinated by centralists in the Spanish/Mexican government.  Every last man, woman and child they could find, to be exact.  The Mexican government traditionally takes pride in the way they deal with “traitors”.  They’re freakin’ artists at it actually.

Racism is a tool usually used by a majority to suppress a minority and not just a natural born instinct of white people as you may think.  During Texas’ second attempt at independence, (the one that actually worked out) the minority were those of mostly Anglo heritage and the racism erupted from the majority; those with mostly Mexican heritage. When the settlers began to hear “the voice” they sent the man they knew the Mexican government had trusted thus far to speak on their behalf, Stephen F. Austin.   The once absentee government of Texas was now run by the soon-to-be Dictator of Mexico, Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna.   They were confident he would hear their discressions fairly because of their loyalty and cooperation thus far and that they would be granted the right to utilize their already working civil government.  Once again they were surprised by Mexico’s reaction.

The “President” of Mexico was a president like Hugo Chavez is the “President” of his Venezuela.   Now in 1834 Santa Anna had big plans for his new Republic of Mexico.  He counted on the Texas being held safe, American-free and built up strong by the nice, quiet, Anglo settlers, loyal to Mexico and virtually hand-picked by the Spanish Crown and Mexican Government up to this point.  They never heard a peep from the Germans or Irish, but here come those Americans from Tennessee talking LOUDLY about having their own type of freedom.  Personally, I think it was the Anglo lawyers who snuck in illegally not the Anglo miners, smugglers, trappers, jack-of all traders that really pissed the Mexican government off.  In response to this unwanted contamination of mass proportions, Mexico tried to curtail this illegal immigration of American Anglos with legislation but it just wouldn’t stop them from coming to start afresh.  Ironic isn’t it.

Having been so busy reorganizing the military, judicial system and the Church, Santa Anna did not realize how quickly so many unappealing American Anglos could spoil Mexico’s plan for constructing a well-built, well-greased white-Euro Texas.  He now had a perfect opportunity or more truthfully an excuse, to quickly stamp out any thought of rebellion and to do it with style.  Remember the donkey?   Anyhoo…

The Texans who rebelled this time were literally risking it all when they decided to declare independence from Mexico and they knew it.  Maybe they were on crack.  Maybe they were a little like the scrappy short kid that picks a fight with the big brut even though everyone knows that it’s a really bad idea.  Maybe they did get lucky, or blessed, or both- but the fact of the matter and the whole truth of the story is and was decided on that day, when a tyrant, hell bent on shoving the idea of American culture and her ideals of freedom down those who hold it dear’s throat, took the lives of over 200 men at the Alamo for pleasure and most definitely for sport.  They heard the voice that shouted this cannot be tolerated by you if you are a decent human being, no matter how small your army is!  This is what drove the Texans to win independence from Mexico and is what Sam Houston remembered as he went into battle at San Jacinto and what he warned against when we were barreling towards a civil war.  He remembered with every breath he took until his death as shall all of us who give a damn about what is right for America.  We have to account for the cost whether its men or money.

After the war, those loyal to Mexico moved back to Mexico, and those loyal to Texas stayed beyond the natural southern boundary of the Rio Grande River.  The cultures remained entwined as peacefully as it was antebellum.  However, a separating and dangerous pride was born by sentiments of the Mexican Centralist government and allowed to be passed on to following generations and so continues to deceive and mislead Mexicans loyal to the ever corrupt Mexican government.

If you look at a modern map of ethnicity in Texas you will see that the border counties are populated by those living in Texas with a lot of Spanish/Mexican heritage.  If you look at an old map of ethnicity in Texas you will see that the heritage is still densely of Mexican-Texan or Texian decent.  Even going way back to the early 1800‘s.  So it makes absolutely no sense that what the liberal left is selling as their reason for an open border is that a border is unfair.  That somehow the people with Mexican ancestry on the US side of the border suddenly become racist against the people of the same decent  on the other side of the border and so therefore moved the border too far westward just to be dicks.  Huh?  That’s pseudos.  There is nothing between the Rio Grande and the imaginary “real border” that makes Mexico any better of a place.  Trust me!

Santa Anna, the devil reincarnate, was a dictator and a war criminal who should have been hung instead of returned to Mexico.  But, sticking to their word and ruling their actions by what they had learned from living under civilized American law, the Texan leaders let the murderous dictator go.  He continued to come up with ways to strain Texas and the United States’ relations.  Because he was a dictator and had control of all arms of the government he had no reason to acknowledge or validate the treaties he had willfully signed.  Santa Anna’s position was that he had signed the documents under coercion as a prisoner, not as a surrendering general in accordance with the laws of war.  There, instead of facing the truth, he began an heir of pseudos that is alive and well today throughout Mexico and those who are ignorant in America.  So, you can just deny being General and war criminal at any time?  I did not know that.  How convenient.

In a nutshell: There once was a man who denied having ever signed any legal treaties or having ever committed the atrocities against Texans.  The Mexican government as a whole and liberal congress in America concurred against all conservative reason and human dignity.  Sound familiar?  Santa Anna murdered good, high-spirited, God fearing men at the Alamo to prove a point.  He laughed in the face of American determinism and Texians loyal to Mexico.  And the icing on the cake is that the liberal Americans in Congress have for years, sided with the pseudos of Mexico for their own political reasons.  Sound even more familiar?

Believing Mexicans have any legal, moral or hypothetical right to any portion of the United States is not only disrespectful to the men who died to win Texas’ Independence from Mexico, but it is also a slap in the face to those who hold American determinism to be one of the greatest and more permanent assets of a free country.

These Americans that are demanding stricter border laws are not racists as they themselves are in fact some part Hispanic and are proud of it.  Telling the Mexican loyalists that they are being hated on is exactly what they are conditioned to hear.  It’s not the truth and those spouting this are the only ones benefiting from it.  Obviously that isn’t the mostly white land owners in Texas, California and Arizona.  The map shows the truth.  It shows that yes, the border was drawn through populations of almost solid Texian and because of the conditions that were legally and verbally agreed upon by the Republic of Texas the wannabe Napoleon of the time, it is what it is.  This is the basic history that is accepted by educated people the world over.

Now ask those of Spanish-American, Mexican-American, Texan or Texian heritage if they think we need more border control.  Let’s ask Robert Vasquez for example.  He’s the Republican county Commissioner up in Canyon County Idaho.  That’s right, Idaho and although the invasion he is experiencing is in Idaho and not actually on the dangerous border, the argument from his perspective is just as important.  Because one in five residents in Canyon County is already of Mexican origin, he believes we, as a country are in for an “imminent invasion,” that will cost us money, cost us our safety, our health and our general wellbeing.  Committed like you read about, he has been shall we say “balls to the walls” fighting the liberal left agenda and some of the Republican’s big business’ alike who want to let as many illegals in as possible.  Vasquez says it is a fight that is partyless and completely necessary. “Some people say I’m a racist, that I’m a traitor to my heritage,” he said. “There is nothing racial about this. The only color involved is green – for money.   Wow.  It’s like déjà vu, isn’t it?

Racism is not the reason the people of Arizona and Texas want better border protection and control.  It’s because those fuckers keep shooting us and you guys up there aren’t doing anything about it! (That’s a line from The Negotiator.  I think it describes the problem quite nicely.)  Racism is a pseudos argument produced mostly by the left, aimed at devaluing the rights of mainly Anglo Americans in these border areas in order to gain the future votes of the majority Mexican-Hispanics who may or may not actually have the right to vote.  We don’t know.

It’s also to make money off of the steady stream of cheap immigrant labor, but they don’t talk about that much.   I wouldn’t either if I owned a fast food chain or many.  The whole situation is a mess, really.  A steady stream is important due to the types of jobs that they are being beckoned for.  For example, one of the major employers of immigrant labor is the meat packing plants.  The plants are bigger, running faster and more automated than ever.  This means everything must work like clockwork for the plant to remain efficient.  Any time there is a breakdown of the line due to an injury, such as loss of a limb or a body part gets stuck somewhere it costs the plant a lot of money.   Laborers who tend to not complain about a less than humane standard of work environment, a.k.a. illegal Mexican immigrants, are a necessity at that point.  And if they are highly unlikely to sue in case of injury because of questionable legal status which they are, well, that works out just perfectly too.

You know, uneducated, illiterate, non-English speaking immigrants are fine.  It’s just when they have no intention of being educated, literate or English-speaking that it becomes a problem.  The liberal left only enables that problem by defending the big industry.  It’s not un-American to say that we don’t need a steady stream of workers, even though the profit of the big automation becomes unattainable.  It’s not anti-immigrant.  It’s only Anti-immigrant and non-American when we’re talking about legitimate immigrants.  Somewhere along the line, someone forgot paying an immigrant a simple fee per body part lost was un-American and anti-immigrant.   Is it more American, or more “pro-immigrant” to be cheap rather than actually following humane business practices?  What is this, China?  It may be.   Big business can afford to make sure congress, Republican or Democrat, not only vote immigration according to what is good for big business, but can also afford to get away with inhumane business practices when they convince you that we cannot survive economically if not voted their way.  That’s pseudos.  Now I don’t believe the liberal left is into packing meat, but it sure is convenient for the liberal left agenda don‘t you think?

One last thing, I almost forgot.  Expect the pseudos on the border issue to increase as President Obama prepares to defend his throne.  President Obama is a leftist; there is no doubt about it now.  He’s left and he want’s those left votes  ASAP.  He is not middle left as he originally sold himself as and with this recent issue he is beginning to prove it.  With his recent appointment of Dr. Donald Berwick to head the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, he has basically sealed the deal for many immigrants wanting to come here legally and illegally.  There is no question many come here for medical care.  Dr. Berwick says, with no qualms about it, that our wealth in America should be redistributed specifically through the Medicare system.  He says that it is our duty.

Now it is clear that the Medicaid programs that are already bleeding our medical system will continue to hemorrhage as long as this liberal administration endures. Did you know that a child born in this country under 12.8 ounces qualifies for Medicaid regardless of their parents nationality or income level?  The medical bill on a child born at this weight runs about $2 million dollars.  Want to guess how many underweight babies are born to illegal immigrants in this country each year?  Times that number by 2 million and that’s how much money you, the taxpayer has doled out this year.  I’m all for helping innocent crack babies, but this is ludicrous.  It is ludicrous to believe that most of this money is going to people who are fully aware of how to take advantage of our welfare programs and that we can continue to afford to let them.  I personally know people who have an impeccable knowledge of the ins and outs of the welfare programs available to them.  They know how to apply, what to say, what they can and cannot get away with saying on an application, but yet they do not possess the ability to read.

President Obama is racing down a dangerous road of pandering to illegal aliens, by spreading racist Pseudos about those who are trying to uphold the law and protect the citizens of this country and also now through offering free medical care so that he can mobilize a voting force of historic proportions.